Apparently one of the biggest relationship mistakes that a woman can make is falling for a man who is off-limits. This can range from a married man to homosexual man, dating a man who lives thousands of miles away, or a man in prison. Astrologically, Neptune can have problems with falling for “unobtainable” men. Princess Diana said to her astrologer that she always wants “unobtainable” men. This may have something to do with Sun trine Neptune in her natal chart. Other astrological significations include Venus-Neptune or Neptune in the 5th or 7th house etc. Neptune represents the unconscious frustration and sacrifice of choosing an unobtainable man and, thus, makes the relationship – unfulfilling. There is always yearning, longing and fantasizing. Unobtainability can also come in the form of illness, a cheating partner, or an alcoholic. The lover is always inaccessible even if physically present and there is suffering entailed and sacrifices to be made.
Some women with Neptune powerful in their chart fall in love with men who are married or hard to get a hold of in reality. It is similar to Venus-Neptune and desiring what is elusive and the need to sacrifice in a relationship in one form or another. The creative fantasy is another lure of such a relationship, and just like the romance novel is an indulgence of fantasy, it gives some of our unfulfilled longings a creative outlet.
Neptune is also connected to the concept of unselfish love and it is all encompassing and unlimited. Of course, what follows is disillusionment, and the relationship loses all its magic, enchantment and fairytale quality. Neptunian relationships have difficulty in seeing a partner as they really are, and they see an idealized version of the relationship.
The relationship Neptune imagined doesn’t really exist and when the real partner discovered is not the person they thought or hoped he or she would be, they begin to see the flaws and imperfections and somehow feel deceived and even betrayed. There can be confusion and a sense of loss at this stage, but once these people can accept their loved ones in more realistic terms it may go a long way in helping. The source of the disappointment is not the partner – it’s the unrealistic longings projected onto them.