How to Coax a Cancer Man Out of his Shell

By | August 16, 2011

Astrologically Cancer is represented by a crab, a creature with a hard-outer-shell and a soft and tender underbelly. The Cancerian is easily bruised by life and prone to seeking self-protection. Within Cancer is a profound sensitivity, and they need to know that you are dependable, and can be relied upon before opening up. In regards to the man in your life born under Cancer he needs to feel secure and fears being rejected. It helps tremendously if regularly shown that you really do care deeply.

This man needs constant emotional reassurances, and before venturing outside and sharing his emotional self, he first asks: “Is it safe?”  And since the Cancer man carries around his home wherever he travels, it is usually thought to mean that he will always need to feel emotionally safe and protected, and dreads the prospect of getting hurt.

The security needs of Cancer are powerful and they need to feel safe before they come outside. If Cancer feels insecure expect the shell to be tougher. You need to respect an on-going state of vulnerability, and so he will project a hard, crabby exterior on the outside at times. The Cancer man can have moods that rival any females, but sometimes his moody, broody and self-protective nature is kinda sexy. As long as he doesn’t act like a big baby, and doesn’t run to momma every time something goes wrong and then gently coax him out of his shell.

Cancer needs emotional trust, and the development of binding emotional attachments to people. Some TLC is always deeply appreciated, and he needs to feel that you really do understand. However, do be aware that his moods can easily shift, and there is a constant flow of moods, desires, feelings, fears and premonitions that bathe your Cancerian lover.

Perhaps luring him through his creative and deeply vivid, imaginative nature and prophetic dreams is the best way to win his heart. For our Cancer man feels most at home here.

“He like the crab inhabits the patch of sand midway between the mysterious ocean and the dry land of ordinary life. Ideas and images come to him, and he gives birth to them. Then the tide recedes, and for a time he is stranded. The process begins again.” Astrology for Lovers

Cancer is the homebody of the zodiac, and when feeling threatened retreats into an inner ocean of emotion. He is also protective and nurturing of others, and senses when they are feeling vulnerable to life. If you are very important to him he will ensure that you feel safe at all times, but is also a bit of a worrier and if you don’t return his call he will begin to imagine the worst has happened to you.

The Cancer man will always want to make sure that you are tucked away safe and secure. He will also do whatever it takes to defend anyone or anything that’s of value, as he is the ultimate protector and defender of the zodiac. You may find that he clings tightly as if it is the last time, and is constantly on the lookout for any threats. Cancer’s live to connect, share feelings and care for those close to their heart.

Respecting his security needs goes a long way, he might also like it if you cooked his favourite food, run him a bath, cuddled in bed, and a moonlit walk by the ocean is incredibly romantic.  However, don’t be harsh with him or ignore his feelings otherwise his hard, defensive nature comes to the fore. This doesn’t mean he has to be constantly treated like a baby. One shouldn’t have to always be walking on egg-shells, but respect his needs for privacy, withdrawal and retreat and understand the deep and powerful emotions that reside under the surface. Cancer needs time away from the world, and this allows him to replenish emotionally, swimming about in his imagination, feelings and moods. Retreating into his shell is really a way to keep him safe from over-exposure, hurt and criticism.

The Moon remembers everything at a deep and instinctive level, and remembers if our needs were met or not. Psychologists and astrologists claim that our memories dictate all our life-long future habits. The Moon is the dictator of the tides and of human emotions, and so everything out there potentially affects him in extreme ways on an inner level, and he is subjected constantly to the ebbs and flows of the emotions that run through his being.

A negative emotion has his stomach tied up in an anxious knot, and challenging aspects to his Cancer planet/s can make his insecurity even worse. The establishment of a nurturing and nourishing relationship will gain his confidence and allow his soft and emotional centre to bee fully expressed. You could even have to climb into his shell and get cozy, and both can take care of each other.