Dark Mode Off / On

ooQuestion: How do you find this placement? It feels like the mind wants to emerge from the sea into the rational. I have difficulties expressing my thoughts and emotions effectively.

What a great way to describe such a placement, and it exactly feels like this. I completely understand all of these struggles and the general floundering within the communication realm. Mercury must flail and stagger clumsily through the water. I possess Mercury in Pisces square Neptune and it is awfully similar in meaning to Mercury in the 12th house. During my school years, I was called a mute by the other children for being so quiet. I had hearing difficulties, got those fixed, then went through speech therapy lessons. It has made me super-sensitive to all criticism and sometimes just making me want to swim back to my inner ocean. Often to the extreme point where I want to retreat back into my own world, and it can result in a massive loss of confidence. I remember well the taunts for being unable to speak. When discussing careers in a lesson, there was one boy who said I would grow up to be a sign language teacher, so not far off. Later, I saw this same classmate working in the jobcentre, so he obviously had a talent for picking out jobs for people. Most vividly, though, was the feeling of being bottled up verbally, similar to Ariel in The Little Mermaid. The uncanny similarity to a fish on land trying to communicate echoes just how frustrating it all is trying to convey one’s feelings.

Oh, how I have always longed to possess the wit of Gemini or the ordered mind of Virgo or even the structured thoughts of Capricorn. I quickly learned the small-talk of the Geminian is not my forte and not everything can be sifted and sorted and sewn together beautifully as is usually done by the Virgoan. It is my Dharma to express Mercury in Pisces square Neptune in whatever fashion I choose and it must find its own voice. Many of us with communication difficulties have found release through writing, maybe expression through art, photography or other Neptunian areas. We are told by astrologers we are gifted with a vivid and strong imagination if that’s any consolation.

Here is a full reading of Mercury in the 12th House.

Now, there are many psychological theories to why we have our inadequacies, weak spots, and frustrations. Here is one such theory which I found fascinating and might help you see Mercury in the 12th house in a different light.

“HILLMAN: But let’s say somebody looked at it differently. Let’s say that what matters is that you have an acorn in you, you are a certain person, and that person begins to appear early in life, but it’s there all the way through your life. Winston Churchhill, for example, when he was a school boy, had a lot of trouble with language and didn’t speak well. He was put in what we would call the remedial class. He had problems about writing, speaking and spelling. Of course he did! This little boy was a Nobel Prize winner in literature and had to save the Western world through speech. Of course he couldn’t speak easily when he was eleven or fourteen – it was too much to carry.

Or take Manolte who, when he was nine years old, was supposedly a very frightened little skinny boy who hung around his mother in the kitchen.  So he becomes the greatest bullfighter of our age. Psychology will say, “Yes, he became a great bullfighter because he was such a puny little kid that he compensated by being a macho hero.” That would be Adlerian psychology – you take your deficiency, your inferiority, and you convert it to superiority.

But suppose you take it the other way and read a person’s life backward. Then you say, Manolete was the greatest bullfighter, and knew that. Inside his psyche sensed at the age of nine that his fate was to meet thousand pound bulls, with great horns. Of course he fucking well held onto to his mother! Because he couldn’t hold that capacity – at nine years old your fate is all there and you can’t handle it. It’s too big. Its not that he was inferior; he had a great destiny. Now, suppose we look at the kids who are odd, stuttering or afraid, and instead of seeing them as developmental problems we see them as having some great thing inside of them, some destiny that they’re not able to handle. It’s bigger than they are and their psyche knows that. So that’s a way of reading your life differently….

VENTURE: But that’s crazy. How can a child know what’s going to happen?

HILLMAN: Our children can’t know what’s going to happen, because our children are not imagined as being Platonic children who are born into this world knowing everything. “The soul knows who we are from the beginning,” say other theories of childhood.” We’ve Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy

Let’s not get carried away and believe we are going to be the next famous writer or star communicator. However, some of us do possess energies difficult to contain and hold, especially as children. Mercury in the 12th house can be such an energy and things go much easier once you find the right expression, perhaps medium for Mercury in this most sensitive of houses. You’re mostly run into trouble trying to express this kind of Mercury too superficially, tune into to those deeper insights.