My child has Moon square Pluto, does that mean I am going to be a bad mother?
No, there is no planetary aspect in anybody’s chart which can make any such judgement over whether the expression is “good” or “bad” in the native’s life. Moon square Pluto is a symbolic representation of deep emotions in connection with family and especially to the mother. It can symbolize a mother who is deeply psychologically aware and the bond can be a strongly emotional one reverberating throughout the life. Of course, there is always the potential for a negative side of mothering in the Plutonian realm in the form of threats, intimidation, emotional blackmail and so forth. At worst, we sometimes see extreme mothering with suicide threats, secretiveness, and skeletons in the closet. A good amount of blaming and shaming might occur in the relationship. The Mother may be super-powerful, intimidating, and downright scary. Equally, it can show a woman going through major upheavals and crisis with direct confrontations with life and death issues. The bond between mother and child can be a great catalyst for growth. My youngest also possesses a Moon conjunct Uranus square Pluto contact in his horoscope.
“Since the Moon represents a female energy, there is a likelihood of attracting towards oneself powerful females who sometimes present great charisma, strength, inner strength and even healing power, but who in other cases can be of the manipulating, possessive type. One’s mother or mother figure is particularly likely to exhibit certain of these characteristics, as is one’s female partner or close female friends. Attachment to one’s mother will be very strong, even where the relationship is a difficult one, and parting from her, whether on the physical plane or through death, is likely to be experienced as exceptionally traumatic…The challenge of any Moon-Pluto link is primarily to come to terms with events or behavior which shatter our emotional security. Inevitably this involves feelings such as grief, resentment and hatred, and difficulties in letting go of the past. The Astrology of Karma
I know in my own family, if you ask me and my sister to describe our mother, you’ll get two different versions, and neither of us is lying. Also, don’t be so hard on yourself. In psychology, it is understood each parent is someone else’s child and we ask too much to expect them to be a perfect parent. Thank goodness for Winnicott who coined the phrase “good enough parent” we are not capable of perfection.