Zodiac Signs of the Times

Aries

“I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unwomanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.”

Taurus

“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.” ― Françoise Sagan

 Gemini

“When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day.” ― Jarod Kintz

Cancer

 “Tried living in the real world instead of a shell, but I was bored before I even began.” ― Morrissey “

Leo

“To err is human, to purr is feline.” ― Robert Byrne

Virgo

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.” ― Steve Martin

Libra

 “I’m so pretty, it’s hard for me to think of myself as intelligent.” ― Jim Butcher

Scorpio

“Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture.” ― Jarod Kintz

Sagittarius

“God helps those who strut their stuff.” ― Dan Sofer

Capricorn

“Disappointment came to me, and booted me, and bruised and hurt me, but that’s how people grow up.” ― Morrissey

Aquarius

“The wolf said, “You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone.” Red Riding Hood said, “I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.” ― James Finn Garner

Pisces

“I’ll wear a maze on a necklace, dangling over my chest, because if you want to get at my heart, you have to be ready to lose yourself.” ― Jarod Kintz