Question: Are people with these aspects possessive, or want to be in control, and can it bring the dark aspects of a personality out when in a relationship?
Under Venus opposite Pluto in aspect, there are a lot of undercurrents to a partnership, and love dredges up all that is unloved. Things really tend to heat up in this area and it can sometimes turn crazy. Pluto often acts as a therapist in the love-life, dredging all kinds of issues up, many of which feel highly uncomfortable. Venus opposite Pluto’s infatuations reach peak really quickly, from a simple text, sent one minute, to the confession of undying love the next. From zero to maximum overdrive. Pluto is incredibly buried in the psyche and unless there is some consciousness, it can act out in compulsive ways. TVenus-Pluto can, therefore, feel compelled. drawn to painful situations, and it can produce affairs outside of the relationship, along with some burning attractions.
On the darker edge, there is a controlling, manipulative, or disturbing element to a partnership. A partner may embody these qualities, and many women complain with Venus opposite Pluto, that men are always getting possessive with them. The feelings of love and attachment, run very deep, and when it comes to attracting a partner they’re very magnetic, and they tend to arouse powerful emotions in others. In love, they can be quite jealous and possibly obsessive. At the root of consuming feelings are deep fears of rejection, loss, and betrayal. It can bring up earlier feelings of love and loss, agonizing emotions arise, even if the slightest feeling of being rejected is felt. It can lead to smothering, intoxicating and dangerous liaisons.
According to Dane Gerhardt:
With Venus/Pluto, it’s almost as if a layer of protection is missing, intensifying the vulnerability and raising the voltage of emotions. There is great strength with this aspect, but initially its sensitivity can inspire extremes of either shutting Venus down or throwing her to the wolves. What did I learn about love before I was five? That I was unlovable, unwanted. Somehow sex was tangled up with that, but I don’t fully understand how. I was sexually abused at nine, but I just know it wasn’t the first time and I have strange fragments of memories. I learned that sex could buy me an illusion of love. Love is still very difficult to trust even after years of therapy. Once, despite my better judgment, I got involved with a chilling man (intensely possessive and very dishonest) quite quickly after I parted with my ex-husband. Our sexual relationship was both passionate and sometimes dark (involving S&M) which was both exciting, disturbing, and at times, towards the end, frightening. I was the masochist in the relationship in lots of ways, including sexually. After the relationship ended (which was intensely painful, because I had grown to “love”/need him?) I decided to get my head sorted out! (Venus opposite Pluto)
When one journeys in the underworld, it helps to have a guide. A painful Venus-Pluto experience can be the catalyst for seeking counseling, joining support groups, or attending workshops leading to greater insight into self and others, identifying deeper motivations and unconscious patterns. Some of the most dramatically painful stories of loss, abuse, and betrayal were told by the Venus-Plutos in my study, yet they also showed a survivor’s strength and keen self-awareness. It is helpful to remember that in the myth, Persephone becomes a Queen. We could say she learns to protect her treasures carefully, revealing them to only those worthy of her trust. With mastery, she inspires others with her emotional authenticity, her readiness to meet the unknown, her skill in clearing the past, releasing relationships that no longer serve.
Many Venus-Pluto people experience the cliché ‘fatal attraction.’ It probably sounds overblown to the casual reader. But we all know the movie. A simple love affair goes BEYOND NORMAL and someone goes to extremes in love, unable to let go and loses all rationale. The star actress, Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction, in her most famous role, possesses a Venus opposite Pluto aspect on the birth chart. Rejection for Venus-Pluto people is a big issue, it seems to drag up painful feelings, and it may involve stalking and terrorizing a partner. We all have all read fatal attraction stories in the newspaper when a man or woman becomes involved with the wrong person and it may only be a brief encounter, but the repercussions are deadly. A fatal attraction is simply defined as an attraction that can and sometimes does lead to death. Think ‘moth to candle flame’ when visualizing Venus-Pluto contacts.
On paper, this must sound like the most unbearable aspect to possess, ruining relationships, and bringing something to threaten the bond, or involving power struggles or some kind of major crisis. Venus-Pluto may show a slight interest in someone, and then they seem to end up in these psych-sexual attractions. No astrologer can judge the extremity, and sometimes a Venus-Pluto type doesn’t feel the impact of the aspect until they break up with someone. Then, this tremendous force of emotions comes their way in the form of obsessive love, hatred, and revenge, all sorts of feelings emerging from the depths. For some, they will enjoy having a partner with some depth, some edge, and emotional profundity, and it is highly attractive.
Pluto often gets fixated on somebody:
An attraction between an individual and someone or something that is so strong the individual lacks reason and logic in their thinking when dealing with their attraction.
Many Venus-Pluto types/or partners can be incredibly charming, emotionally manipulative, and take things too much to heart. The lightest brush-off is interpreted as rejection or loss. Things always seem to start off rosy with plenty of intense loving, especially in the beginning, and it can be incredibly seductive. The partner can feel loved like never before, and there is an intoxicating power, like falling under a dark spell. Venus in aspect to Pluto themes can show peace and stability for years. However, in some cases, something intrudes upon this happiness, and it results in a massive emotional confrontation with all sorts of painful stuff accumulated and pouring forth. A deep feeling of unlovability and any unmet needs in love can result in outsized expressions of emotions and sexuality.
Eventually, the real aim of this aspect is to develop greater self-value, deeper intimacy without compulsiveness, and authentic relating. As a final note, not all people feel Venus-Pluto to these kinds of extremes. On a more positive level, there are bags of passion that can be poured into all sorts of creative activities, there is loyalty and resilience in romantic affairs, strong bonds formed, and great emotional depth.