Relationship Astrology: Synastry and Composite

Neptune Relationships: Women Who Love “Too Much”

By astrologyplace January 6, 2011

“Women Who Love Too Much” by Robin Norwood is a groundbreaking self-help book that delves deep into the complexities of love relationships, shedding light on a particular archetype that many women may unknowingly find themselves entangled in. Published in 1986, the book showcases Norwood’s expertise as a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist, with specialization in not just love relationships, but also areas such as addiction, co-addiction, compulsive eating, and depression. The book explores a compelling archetypal pattern prevalent in certain relationships, drawing parallels to Neptune’s patterns of idealization, sacrifice, illness, breakdowns, violence, alcohol problems, and profound disillusionment. Norwood skillfully connects the psychological and emotional dynamics within relationships to the mythological symbolism of Neptune, the Roman god of the sea known for its mysterious and all-encompassing nature.

The archetype described in “Women Who Love Too Much” suggests that individuals, particularly women, may be prone to idealizing their partners to an extent that it becomes detrimental to their well-being. This idealization can lead to a pattern of sacrificing one’s own needs and desires, potentially resulting in emotional and physical consequences. The inclusion of elements such as illness, breakdowns, violence, and alcohol problems underscores the severity of the consequences that can unfold when individuals become entangled in this archetype.

Norwood’s book serves as a guide for readers to recognize and break free from these destructive patterns. By addressing issues like co-addiction, compulsive eating, and depression, the author provides a comprehensive approach to understanding the multifaceted challenges that individuals in such relationships may face. Through case studies, practical advice, and therapeutic insights, Norwood empowers readers to navigate the complexities of love and relationships with a heightened awareness of potential pitfalls.

The book’s central theme, relationship addiction, explores the profound impact of childhood experiences on the development of certain patterns of thought and behavior in women. Robin Norwood identifies a specific group of women who, as a response to childhood problems, exhibit what she terms as loving “too much.” The comparison of these women to heroin users, jabbing needles in their arms, underscores the severity of the addictive and potentially destructive nature of their relationships. This analogy vividly communicates the intensity and compulsiveness of the emotional bonds that these women form, drawing attention to the parallel between substance addiction and the addictive quality of their relationships.

The characteristics of women who love too much, as outlined by Norwood, provide a clear profile of individuals who have experienced a dysfunctional upbringing. Growing up in an environment marked by alcohol abuse or other substance misuse, whether prescribed or illicit, sets the stage for the development of this particular pattern of love. The presence of compulsive behavior in a parent and exposure to domestic abuse further contribute to the formation of these relationship dynamics.

An additional layer of complexity is introduced through the concept of a child being treated as an adult and shouldering responsibilities beyond their years. When a child is raised to the level of a parent, burdened with excessive responsibilities, it creates a foundation for the development of a woman who loves “too much.” The book suggests that this early experience of assuming adult roles and responsibilities can distort the individual’s understanding of healthy relationships, leading to patterns of behavior that may be detrimental to their emotional well-being.

Unstable and Needy Relationships

The woman, shaped by her childhood experiences, exhibits a strong attraction to men who embody a sense of neediness. In turn, she finds fulfillment in being needed, creating a symbiotic relationship where both parties fulfill specific roles. This unconscious draw to unstable relationships and damaged men is a manifestation of the woman’s internalized patterns from childhood. The allure of trying to redeem a partner through love is a common thread in these relationships. The woman may perceive herself as a source of healing and stability for her partner, believing that her love can transform him and mend the wounds of his past.However, as the relationship unfolds, it often transforms into a consuming and desperate yearning for the beloved. The partner becomes mysterious and elusive, creating a cycle of emotional highs and lows that intensify the woman’s emotional investment. The perception of the partner as mysterious adds an element of unpredictability and excitement, further fueling the woman’s emotional involvement.
Compassion and pity play crucial roles in how these individuals define love. The woman’s compassion becomes a driving force in the relationship, and her pity for her partner’s struggles deepens her emotional connection. This combination of compassion and pity can create a powerful emotional bond that, despite its intensity, may not be sustainable or healthy in the long run. The book explores how these patterns, rooted in childhood experiences, can lead to a cycle of dysfunctional relationships. Norwood may provide insights into breaking this cycle by fostering self-awareness, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating a more balanced and reciprocal approach to love.
The exploration of Neptune’s role in relationships, as outlined in “Women Who Love Too Much,” adds another layer of complexity to the understanding of these dynamics. The willingness to endure pain and hardship for the sake of the union becomes a poignant characteristic of individuals caught in these unhappy and destructive relationships with men. The influence of Neptune is depicted in the glamorization of the romantic bond. The allure of an idealized, almost otherworldly connection can cast a spell on individuals, making them more tolerant of suffering and hardship within the relationship. Neptune, as a symbol of illusion and idealization, contributes to the creation of a romanticized narrative that may not align with the reality of the situation.The yearning for more than is available, as described in the context of these relationships, suggests an insatiable desire for an idealized version of love that may not be achievable in the current circumstances. This perpetual yearning can lead to a sense of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction, driving individuals to endure pain in the hope that their devotion will eventually be rewarded with the perfect love they envision. The unflinching devotion offered to a partner in these relationships is a testament to the strength of the emotional bond and the depth of the woman’s commitment. However, when coupled with the glamorization of the relationship, it can create a dynamic where the woman becomes willing to endure more than is healthy or sustainable. The distorted perception of love, often fueled by Neptune’s influence, may lead to a prolonged tolerance of pain and suffering in the name of preserving the romantic ideal.
The book likely delves into the need for individuals to recognize the difference between genuine, healthy devotion and the kind of self-sacrifice that can be detrimental to one’s well-being. By unraveling the illusions created by Neptune’s influence, the author may encourage readers to reevaluate their relationships, set realistic expectations, and foster a love that is balanced, mutual, and respectful of individual boundaries.
The connection between a woman’s childhood experiences and her adult behavior, as discussed in “Women Who Love Too Much,” adds a psychological depth to the understanding of relationship patterns. The woman may have been subjected to eternal chaos in her formative years. which points to a challenging and potentially traumatic upbringing. In response, she might develop a profound and overwhelming need to fix everything and take care of everyone around her. This inclination to take on others’ burdens and emotional problems can stem from a deep-seated desire for control and stability, possibly as a coping mechanism developed in response to childhood chaos. The book suggests that this pattern of behavior, characterized by an excessive sense of responsibility, is undeniably linked to the astrological symbolism of Neptune. The elusive and illusory nature of Neptune manifests in the denial of the problem — a reluctance to confront the reality of the unhealthy dynamics in the woman’s relationships.
The metaphor of Neptune being “hooked” on certain types of relationships, as described in “Women Who Love Too Much,” vividly captures the captivating and entrapping nature of these romantic entanglements. The initial dream of saving someone and seeking redemption, often fueled by the desire to heal a partner’s wounds, can gradually transform into a nightmarish reality. The waters turn dark, murky, and treacherous, encapsulating the emotional landscape of these relationships. What once seemed like a source of fulfillment and purpose becomes overwhelming and chaotic. The individual, driven by Neptune’s influence, may find themselves in despair, feeling like they are slowly drowning in misery as the relationship takes unexpected and distressing turns.
The difficulty that Neptune introduces in seeing what is actually there highlights the theme of illusion and idealization in these relationships. The individual, driven by a romanticized vision, may be blinded to the true nature of their partner. The discrepancy between the imagined ideal and the reality of the person’s character becomes a source of profound disappointment and disillusionment. It emphasizes the emotional turmoil that arises when Neptune’s influence distorts perceptions and fosters unrealistic expectations. Falling in love with someone who turns out to be vastly different from the imagined ideal is a painful realization that can lead to a profound sense of loss and betrayal.

This portrayal aligns with the broader psychological theme of the book, encouraging individuals to confront the illusions they may have constructed in their relationships. By acknowledging the distortions created by Neptune’s influence, the book likely guides readers toward a more realistic and balanced understanding of love and partnership.
The exploration of Neptunian relationships in the context of difficulty leaving an abusive relationship adds another layer of understanding to the complexities involved. The powerful emotional compulsion that keeps a woman in such a relationship, even when she is provided with all the help she needs, highlights the profound psychological and emotional dynamics at play. The book seems to recognize that not all Neptunian relationships are necessarily complex and co-dependent, but it emphasizes the particular challenge faced by individuals, especially women, in leaving abusive relationships. The powerful emotional compulsion described suggests that the bond between the woman and her abuser goes beyond rational considerations. It becomes a force that transcends external interventions, making it difficult for her to break free, even when confronted with clear warning signs.
The frustration experienced by those working with victims of domestic violence, despite their best efforts to counsel and provide a safe haven, underscores the tenacity of this emotional bond. The woman’s compelling attraction to her abuser becomes a formidable barrier to seeking and accepting help. Understanding this emotional compulsion is crucial for designing effective interventions and support systems that address not only the immediate safety concerns but also the deeper emotional ties that bind the victim to the abuser.

The book sheds light on the psychological factors that contribute to this powerful attraction, exploring themes such as low self-esteem, trauma bonding, and the impact of past experiences on one’s perception of love and security. By delving into these psychological aspects, the author aims to provide a more comprehensive understanding of why leaving an abusive relationship is such a formidable challenge.

Plunging into the World of Feelings

The connection between Pisceans, Neptunians, and their willingness to delve into the realm of emotions is an intriguing aspect explored in astrological and psychological contexts. The Neptune archetype, often associated with universal love and compassion, introduces a dimension of deep emotional connection and empathy. However, this exploration is not without its complexities, and it delves into some of the darker themes related to addiction in relationships and the role that Neptune plays. The willingness of Pisceans and Neptunians to plunge into the world of feelings reflects an openness and receptivity to the emotional experiences of themselves and others. The Neptune archetype, symbolizing universal love and compassion, amplifies these tendencies, fostering a sense of empathy and interconnectedness with the broader human experience.

However, there are potential shadows cast by Neptune’s influence. The inclination towards martyrdom and the desire to care for others can indeed wield significant emotional and manipulative influence over loved ones. While the intentions may be rooted in compassion and care, there is a potential for these qualities to be expressed in ways that could be detrimental to both the individual and the relationships involved. The focus on addiction in relationships underscores the potential for unhealthy patterns to emerge when the desire for emotional connection and care becomes all-encompassing. The role that Neptune plays in amplifying these dynamics may contribute to a sense of idealization and the blurring of boundaries, making it challenging to discern between genuine care and potentially destructive behavior.

In summary, the exploration of Pisceans, Neptunians, and the themes associated with Neptune in relationships offers a rich tapestry of emotional experiences. By recognizing the dual nature of these influences, the exploration invites a deeper understanding of the complexities inherent in love, compassion, and the potential pitfalls that may arise when these emotions are taken to extremes.