In an article on Synastry generational aspects, it was said that the reason my first serious relationship 20 years ago (dragging out the time machine) was so controlling, abusive, and manipulative was not because Venus was square Pluto in my own natal chart and in synastry because we were so close in age. [Due to the long orbit of the planet, his natal Pluto would naturally aspect my natal Venus because I have that aspect in my natal chart.] Planetary overlays in our birth charts undoubtedly accounted for our power battles.
In my current and non-abusive relationship, there is a bit of a double whammy with Pluto is on my partner’s Venus (fairly wide at 9 degrees), but our age difference is only a few years. In this sexy astrological match, his Pluto also trines my Venus, but is out of sign.
My ex-abusive partner’s stellium of Aries planets, however, landed right in my natal 8th house (Pluto’s realm) and amplified all these themes and that is the main difference, so it is important to pay some attention to the overlay of planets in each other’s houses. Also, remember not to read too much into a synastry aspect in the generational sense. It’s fascinating, and I’ve learned the value of house overlays in synastry.
Like those makeup artists who claim they study the art to improve their own appearance, I feel like studying astrology is a form of therapeutic self-improvement and mew insights that I openly discuss with others while using the knowledge for my own personal growth.