Some relationships challenge us to greater challenges and greater growth. With Saturn aspects in synastry there is always a sense of solid commitment, duty and responsibility in the partnership and when somebody’s Saturn is on our personal planet/s it can give us a grounded feeling in that relationship.
Sometimes the commitment to one another in Saturn coloured relationships involves something heavy. Astrologer Liz Greene speaks about Venus-Saturn contacts feeling the need to legalize their relationship to make a permanent tie and contractual kind of marriage. Astrologers will always note the binding nature of Saturn relationships.
However, there is another clause to these kinds of interactions, and sometimes when someone’s Saturn challenges our personal planet/s it may feel as if they are handicapping us in our personal expression. Heavy cross-aspects involving Saturn brings into the contact a sense of frustration, limitation and hitting a brick wall. Saturn natally and in relationship astrology always wants to maintain its oppressive control. When our Saturn interacts with other planets we may give an austere, critical and even harsh response to the other.
Yet, before we totally blame the Saturn person for his or her nature we might find some sympathy because when we aspect an individual’s Saturn we bring up memories and associations that the individual would rather not be known. We are prodding a part of this person that feels shy and awkward and we unknowingly make them intensely aware of their weak spots and vulnerability. This does not leave the Saturn without any sense of responsibility and before they begin getting overly critical of the other person they should step back and see what it is he or she has to do to strengthen themselves in that area. When we relate to others through Saturn we are awakening insecurities from our past which is painful.
Relationship blocks can occur in Saturnian relationships but it is usually more in a reaction to one another. In the composite chart, it will show whether there are severe limitations to the partnership that can result in an extremely hard relationship. Saturn in relationship prefers to take things more seriously, and the Saturn individual may be seen as the one to curb our behaviour and response patterns correlating to what planet Saturn is aspecting represents. In the case of the Sun, it may be our individual behaviour and personal style, but the general flavour of Sun/Saturn contacts give a sense of mutual responsibility which can be stabilizing or restrictive. Saturn may offer wisdom and they both confidently endure setbacks. The Saturn partner also tries to keep the relationship anchored in reality, and the Sun perceives seriousness in his partner.
Moon-Saturn relationships often convey feelings of responsibility but there can also be an emotionally frustrating element. Saturn may also be insensitive in this interaction, but at the same time may offer containment, support, and stability. Mercury – Saturn relationships show a level of communication in this interaction which can be deep and serious. Saturn may resist new ideas and there can sometimes be a non-communicative response to mercury. Venus-Saturn relationships are binding and sometimes frustrating. This union may lead to Saturn feeling emotionally insecure, and fearful of Venus’ rejection this is sometimes a possessive contact. Saturn may act critical and withdrawn, but there can be love, strength and commitment.
Nobody will bloody frustrate you more at times than a Saturnian partner, and sometimes the Saturn person tries to play a sort of authority or parenting role in the interaction.
But one’s partner’s Saturn might be conjunct one’s Moon and opposition one’s Sun, and the synastry between the birth charts might make one feel more like Sisyphus and his rock than Mick Jagger and Jerri Hall. By Liz Greene
Saturn symbolizes our doubts, guilt and fear – it represents the area where we may attempt to overcompensate. There was an excellent article written a few years back called Mirror, Mirror by Trish Levine. I was reminded of this article a few days ago when I got into an argument with my partner and he suddenly brought up a long history of people telling him what to do and he was tired of the control. The fight reminded me of the Alanis Morrisette song – Not All Me.
According to the author when our relationships act like mirrors, we relate to them through our own history. And she says what makes this process so complex is that our partner also relates to us and others according to his or her own personal history and set of experiences. The author speaks about the hardship of working through relationship difficulties, and why do some relationships make us feel vulnerable, pessimistic or defeated. The author believes relationships as a mirror reflect our “emotional appearances”.
“In order to understand who we are we need to learn to watch the “movies” we produce in our lives through our interactions with others The issues the other person brings up for us will tell us something about ourselves – if were willing to look and listen.”
The quote below from the article is a great way to look at Saturn relationships especially the ones that involve an overly critical partner. It is helpful to understand that we are unknowingly activating their anxiety.
“Let’s take the critical partner scenario. Let’s assume that your critical partner thinks he or she is being helpful. In fact, maybe whenever this person feels anxious or fearful his or her conditioned response has been to become critical in order to fend against feeling helpless – a pattern that probably dates back to childhood.
“Until we are comfortable with the mirroring process, we will experience the same patterns in our lives over and over again. Our instinct continues to push us to learn and grow, and mirroring is one of the primary ways we continue to do so. If we resist learning we will remain stuck in the same pattern.”